Being Direct Without Being a Jerk: Letting Her Know What You Want

"Tell her what you want out of the relationship"

“Tell her what you want out of the relationship”


Hey, we get it-you’re a guy. You want what every guy wants, particularly if the woman you’re dating is sexy as hell. The dilemma stems from not knowing if she wants it too. There’s nothing wrong with playing the nice guy and waiting around for her to bring up the subject. But what if you wait and wait and she never gets around to saying it? You might be worried that if you bring it up she’s going to think you’re only out for one thing and one thing only. However, there are ways for you to be direct without being pushy.

Set the Stage

"Tell her that you want to kiss her lips"

“Tell her that you want to kiss her lips”


One of the best ways to get your point across is to plan a date that gets the two of you alone and sets the mood. For example, you could invite her over for a romantic dinner at your place. Make sure the atmosphere is conducive toward intimacy by keeping the lights dim or using candles. Ahead of time, call your date and tell her to dress in something that makes her feel beautiful and sexy. Take some time to be attentive to your own appearance as well. When she arrives you want her to be surprised to see you looking your best, as well.

To make the mood even more seductive, choose finger foods for the meal. We’re not talking messy hot wings or ribs. There are plenty of other appetizers out there that you could choose. Watching each other eat with fingers can be incredibly arousing, particularly if you amp up the mood before you start eating. For dessert, include fruit like grapes and other berries dipped in chocolate. You want to overwhelm her senses with your appearance, your behaviour, and the overall setting. If she doesn’t figure out by the end of the night that you want her, she’s beyond oblivious.

Use Conversation

Telling her bluntly in the middle of conversation that you want to have sex is not the best way to go about it. There’s nothing wrong with talking about sex. In fact, most couples’ conversations will stray there as a natural part of getting to know each other better. So if you think it’s about time that the two of you got intimate, think of ways to bring up the topic. For example, if the two of you are talking about your most embarrassing sexual moments in the past, take control of the conversation and steer it in the direction of what you’d like to experience with her. Make a point of letting her know that you think about her sexually. Don’t be crude about it. If the two of you are discussing how you like to kiss, mention to her how much you’d like to kiss her and how you’d like to kiss her. You can be direct about your desires without pushing the boundary into being a pushy jerk. She’ll be more aroused by a direct confession than if you’re consistently hounding her for sex.

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