Defining a Realistic Dealbreaker

"Don't let you bad habits come in the way of your hookup"

“Don’t let you bad habits come in the way of your hookup”

Everyone has dealbreakers. These are the traits that you simple can’t have in a significant other. She could be great in every other way, but if she does this or has this opinion it ruins the whole thing for you. Maybe you’d never date a woman who has a child. Maybe your dealbreaker is “never served jail time.” These dealbreakers do limit your pool of available dates. If you’re not sure whether or not your preference is killing your chances of finding someone, consider these important points.

Remember That No One’s Perfect

Your perfect girlfriend might be a billionaire, genius supermodel. You know that’s jut a fantasy. Obviously, you’re not looking for a woman exactly like that. Men can have more realistically unrealistic expectations for their girlfriends. It’s assumed that you have to like or at least be neutral to everything she does. Everyone has flaws, and there’s no rule written that says you can’t dislike things about your girlfriend and still be with her. She’s going to have some bad habits. It’s how you handle it that matters.

Is It a Very Common Trait?

"Breakup with her only if you cannot handle her bad habits anymore"

“Breakup with her only if you cannot handle her bad habits anymore”

If your girlfriend’s bad habit really gets under your skin you’re put in a jam. Should you end things with an otherwise good woman over this flaw? What you need to consider is how common this trait is over all. What are the odds that you can find another good woman who doesn’t have this habit? Some things might really bother you, but you have to be realistic. If it’s something very common you’re probably not going to be able to find a great woman who doesn’t have it. She’ll have something else wrong with her, and you’ll be back to square one. If your deal breaker is an extremely common trait you’re just limiting your pool of potential dates. If it’s common it would be worth it for you to put your effort into getting over it.

Is It Going to Get Worse?

Is this habit only going to get worse with age? If your girlfriend is a social smoker and you can’t stand it, you might want to end things. A cigarette or two outside a bar every weekend is only going to get worse. Cigarettes are addictive. As she gets stressed, as she gets used to smoking, as time goes on it’s extremely likely that she’s going to smoke more and more. This is a habit that’s going to get worse, and there’s no reason for you to stick around with it.

If the habit is as bad as it’s going to get, however, you should weigh that. Maybe she just bites her nails. You think it’s gross, but it’s not as though she’s going to progress to biting yours. This habit might persist, but if you can handle it now then you should be able to handle it forever.

If something really is a deal breaker for you, it’s only fair to tell the woman why you’re breaking it off. She might be willing to change, and even if you’re not going to stick around she should know why she’s sent a man running.


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